Gay lector at Portland cathedral dismissed

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus,

This is a difficult letter to write, but one that I feel is important.  I do not wish to be confrontational or to make anyone uncomfortable.  I have spent a good deal of time thinking and praying on this; I have lost sleep over this.  I ask, in the Lord’s name, that you to read it with an open heart and mind.

I have been a lector at St. Mary’s Cathedral since shortly after joining the parish in 2015.  I have also been a lector in the past at St. Joseph’s parish in Brooklyn, NY.  I have always enjoyed being a lector and been happy to be making this contribution to our liturgy and the parish.

Last week I was contacted by the pastor, Msgr. Pat, and told that I would no longer be able to continue in this role.

In the interest of full transparency and background, Msgr. Pat was recently called before the Archdiocesan Vicar of Clergy, Fr. Todd Molinari.  As Msgr. Pat explained it to me, Archbishop A. Sample received a very angry letter from a woman in Beaverton (who is not a parishioner at St. Mary’s) criticizing the Archbishop on a great many fronts.  One of her criticisms was that in the cathedral itself there is a Eucharistic Minister who is living openly with a same-sex partner.  Msgr. Pat was directed by the vicar to put a stop to this situation.

I have gotten to know Msgr. Pat during my time as a parishioner here at St. Mary’s, in that time I have developed a great fondness and admiration for him.  In that time, he has also come to learn that I am gay.  While I have not flaunted this fact, I have also not hidden it.  I have shared candidly the challenges I face as a practicing Catholic while also being a gay man in a committed relationship.  

As it happens, I am NOT a Eucharistic Minister, nor was I named in this letter, nor do I know the name of the woman who wrote this letter or have any suspicions as to whom it might be.  Msgr. Pat addressed the issue, as he was directed to do, and asked me to step down as lector.  Msgr. Pat was very kind and empathetic throughout this exchange, clearly uncomfortable with having to deliver this news; moreover, he has respected my privacy throughout.

I am well aware of the Catholic Church’s position on same-sex relationships.  Therefore I am not necessarily surprised by this prohibition, yet – in truth – I am very saddened and disappointed.

As it was explained, both lectors and Eucharistic ministers are expected to be of “high-moral standing”.  That is wounding, because I am NOT of low moral standing.  

I am not a LGBT radical.  I do not waive a rainbow flag at church.  I do not have an agenda to subvert Church teaching.  I am simply trying to live an honest, authentic, loving life…which for me means being both a married gay man and a Catholic.

I am in a civil marriage.  We were married in WA on October 8, 2013.  The date selected was a special one – it was thirty years to the day since we had met and begun our journey together.  We recently celebrated thirty-five years together.  You’d be hard pressed to find a happier, more devoted couple.

My husband Kevin, a confirmed Catholic, and I attended Mass regularly in the early years of our relationship.  He long ago stepped away from the Church, due to an ongoing, pervasive feeling of not being welcome.  Truthfully, I cannot blame him.  Yet he respects my decision to continue to actively participate in the Church. 

In all honesty and humility it is not hard to admit that I am a flawed human being in need of God’s Grace.  Who among us can say otherwise?  But my sins, failings and short-comings do not include my marriage and my life with Kevin.  I know this from my very core.  Let’s face it:  my eternal soul is on the line.  When called, I am sure that I will be asked to justify not the love I’ve shared with Kevin, but the times in my life where I was without love.

I suspect that the majority of you have someone in your life who is a member of the LGBT community – and that you love and respect them.

I write to you to simply share the truth, to live authentically.  Anything less seems dishonest.  There is no other objective to this letter.  I have no request of this group other than to ask that each of you include me in your prayers.  As I will continue to pray for all at St. Mary’s parish.

I am leaving St. Mary’s parish.  I feel that my continued presence here would be a distraction for both me and to the rest of the parish.  I leave without rancor or hard feelings. 

May God bless and keep you.

Very truly yours,

Thomas Mannix