03 January 2018

Churches failing to act on marriage

The health and wellbeing of society and all its members, especially children, depends on the existence of strong and stable families. Yet the most authoritative accounts of the current condition of family life in Britain today paint an alarming picture. Sir Paul Coleridge, former High Court judge in the family division and now chairman of the Marriage Foundation, has pointed out that “by the age of 15 almost half our children are no longer living with both their birth parents …” In Sir Paul’s opinion the state itself bears a heavy responsibility for this, by refusing to repair a broken legal framework for marriage that is no longer fit for purpose.
He believes that above all it is the inadequacy of Britain’s divorce laws that discourages people – working-class men in particular – from marrying. They sense that the system is loaded against them should their marriage fail. In an article in The Times this week he makes the telling point that it is the relatively poor who suffer most. “This phenomenon is a matter of profound social injustice because the lower-income groups are hit far worse,” he wrote. “Unlike the better off, whose ‘marrying’ behaviour has not changed for decades, they have to a very significant extent turned their back on marriage.”
It may be paradoxical that better divorce laws would encourage more people to marry instead of merely cohabiting. But there is a real fear among men that if they married, the law may unfairly hand their partner what has been called a “meal ticket for life” should their marriage break down. On the other hand some men go to great lengths to avoid their responsibilities for the upkeep of their children, while some men crave the access to them they do not have. There are numerous other factors in play, including how the benefits system unintentionally imposes what has been called a “couples penalty” on two young people trying to build a stable relationship.
Some couples may steer clear of marriage precisely because they are not sure how deeply committed they are to each other, and their hesitation turns out to be justified. And some men and women, the latter especially, dislike the conventional terms “husband and wife” because of the inflexibility of the roles they seem to imply. All this contributes to the profound cultural change leading more and more couples to opt for cohabitation rather than marriage.
As Sir Paul admits, further research and debate is needed, but the major Christian Churches in the United Kingdom, which ought to be well equipped to talk with authority about the family, sadly are not ready for it. The Church of England still has a major stake in the marriage industry at least where the better-off are concerned, but has been distracted by controversies over gay marriage. The Catholic Church became more aware of the significance of cohabitation as a result of Pope Francis’ document, Amoris Laetitia, but no concrete response has emerged. These are not specifically Catholic or Anglican concerns. They are about the common good, and above all, the welfare of children. Archbishops and cardinals need to add moral weight and spiritual depth to the former judge’s legal arguments. If marriage is in crisis, it is their crisis too.
(Photo by Cayton Heath on Unsplash)

Saturday, January 6, 2018